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One of the funniest things about having a blog is being able to see how people searched the web and found it. I have written a few search topics in the past that make me laugh like:
“Things to put up my butt.” Hmmm, I don’t remember when I wrote that post… (a little inside note: The search comes up because of a post I have called, “Stick up my butt liberal comment”. So next time you see that on my top posts… you’ll know… oh yes… you’ll know why.)
“Aunt Stacey porn” Wha…?
“How to break into a car with a clothes hanger.” Hehe.
Today’s new one is, “Pink shoes from Legally Blonde 1″ Yep, you heard it hear first. Livewire Meanderings is the best way on the web to find your own pair of pink pumps from really crappy movies.
Hahahah. Makes me laugh.
Here is the post I had all planned out my head last night.
Update with Ziggy.
Things are going awesome. I don’t know what clicked in that little dog’s head but he has not had an accident in weeks. I like to believe it’s because of me. (Thank you, thank you) First of all, he is probably scarred from the hysterics I had when the accidents happened. I can’t help it, I’m not the cleanest person in the world but urine in my living places is UNACCEPTABLE. After the week or two of pee lakes in my living room- I have been staring that dog down with a eagle eye. Honestly, I have got my eye on him. I have been dropping his ass off outside every hour to make sure he lets loose out there. We patched up the backyard so he can’t sneak out anywhere because Ziggy running away and joining a circus is Ella’s biggest nightmare. Seriously, don’t let your weird little daughters watch Clifford’s Big Adventure. Who knew, right? She even quotes the movie as a expert source when I try to reassure her he won’t run away. “Well, Mom, Clifford was a really good doggy too but he still wanted to go to the circus…”
Let’s get back on track here. Things are great. He know to goes to the back door and just kind of hangs out now when he needs to go out. Luckily, since I have developed a sixth sense of knowing where Ziggy is at all time, I let him out and he does his thang and we live a life of cleanliness… sort of. Besides all of the human mess… which doesn’t include pee and poop. So, pack your bags, bring your kids, you can reschedule that visit to our house. It’s not super nasty anymore.
All right, so last night. I was watching the TeeVee with husband getting ready for bed and I turned off my eagle eye. I had to… I was sleepy. You understand right? Right? Anyways, the poor, poor little dog was standing at the back door. I don’t know how long. And he made a pee lake. I felt AWFUL!! So, okay. Mistakes happen. Last night, a guy that works with Matt stayed at our house and slept downstairs. That drove Ziggy nuts all night. He was barking and running around. This morning I found some poop on my ottoman in the living room, and what looks like Ziggy trying to spray Matt’s friends coat. He loves the coats. Anyways, I’m bummed. I’m getting really sick of constantly sanitizing our house. It’s not my thing. Setbacks.
Oh jeez. My husband coined a term a few years ago that always makes me laugh. You know rock bands like THIS and THIS and even the new stuff from THESE GUYS. Shit like this Matt calls
BUTT ROCK.
Because the music sucks… like a butt. And it makes me giggle because it has the word butt in it. Sigh. Go my children, and use this term. Because it’s funny… and true.
Well my blogging inspiration returned again, and my muse is in the form of a four year old. Ella is just so sweet. Everyday I am amazed by her, she is a really good girl. I always joke that the reason we haven’t had another kid is because we are afraid we’d actually have to parent the next one. Ella has a certain friend at school she absolutely LOOOOVES. It is the same friend, G, she spent her birthday with and tells everyone she meets about. Ella is extraordinarily loyal. She is like her father in that way- and it’s one quality I am so glad she inherited (lets hope she gets his skin too… wait, minus the facial hair). At the parent(s)/teacher conference a few months ago we talked about trying to open Ella up to other kids at school. It’s not as if she is not friends with them, she would just rather be with her friend, G. Matt and me totally agreed she should broaden her friend horizon and so the teacher said she would try to diversify Ella’s playtime. Friend options. Today, I find Ella playing with another friend, B, in her class and she gives a very flamboyant farewell to her ‘new’ friend. Tonight she drew a picture of her and her new friend B and told me that her teachers said that she should try to be friends with everyone in class so she is going to be start by being really good friends with B. I love that she has jumped into this mission so whole hearted and I love she listens to her teachers. I just kind of sat there in awe of her. I really hope it works out for her- there are some real crazy preschool politics and I would hate for this can-do spirit to be broken. That’s my baby.
Now, the whole listening to authority thing was definitely NOT from Matt, or the whole listening thing for that matter.
Dare I say something, but I think Ella has finally hit the Golden Age of Playing by Herself. Yippee! For the past month or so she has been playing independently in her room for up to an hour at a time. AN HOUR! and not even draw on the walls and throw my toys kind of play. Sigh. Maybe Barbies are a good toy. I was so apprehensive about getting her Barbies but after a year of asking for them I couldn’t hold out anymore. She currently has five… which is a ton. At least she has multi-racial Barbies, right?
So with all my extra time now I’ve picked up the hobby of watching crappy TV. I haven’t really been able to watch any tv before 8:30 because I don’t like it when Ella watches crap like Rock of Love II. I have finally stopped her from saying “Shake your boobies” I don’t think she should actually she a house full of women shaking their boobies.
Freedom is nice. I hope I didn’t jinx this magical occurrence by writing about it. Wait a minute… did I make a whole posting without complaining? Holy guacamole, I’m cool.
I am going on my second week straight of being a huge grouch. I’m talking bitchy, tired and impatient. I’m sick of the weather, I’m sick of dog pee, I’m sick of taxes, and I’m sick of you! Okay, like I said, I’m bitchy.
I dyed my head red on Sunday night finally, since my eyes are no longer pink. It is the exact color of my maroon coat. I kind of look like a walking crayon when I wear it. At first I was a little apprehensive about it, but its kind of fun to coordinate so nicely. I forgot how much I like to be a RED head.
Is lent still going on? I keep seeing fish sandwich ads on the TeeVee so I assume that they are.
And how ’bout this weather….and those Yankees…
… okay, I have nothing to write, but I wanted to flex my blogging muscle a bit since I haven’t blogged since last week. Pray for inspiration and maybe a little less bitchy and a little more peppy. And maybe a little bit of weather that is above zero… please, oh please…
After two days off work FOR BEING DISGUSTING I am back to work. Good grief, f-ing pink eye. I am doing better- my eyes were not sealed shut this morning like they were yesterday. Always a plus. I do look like a huge stoner though. My eyes are hanging on to that nice festive pink very nicely. I have a feeling this is kind of what it is like to be a leper. Everyone at work is keeping they’re distance from me and no one is making eye contact with me.
Valentine’s Day evening was pretty nice. Ella had a good time at school and that evening we went out to eat at a local diner… okay it was Chili’s. Blame Matt- he has a thing for commercialized pre-fab food- not me. We spent the evening watching LOST which is AWESOME this year. Mainly because its as confusing as the first season was. Good show, folks.
In case anyone was wondering- it’s still GD cold up here.
Also, I have come to the conclusion that yoga gives me heartburn. Yoga is good stuff though people. It’s just sometimes really hard to be ZEN-like with indigestion. Yoga mats and Tums from now on.
I think the two days off work set my mood factor to Monday even though its Friday. All I want to do is complain. I better just stop this post now- no one likes to read huge postings about someone grouchy girl’s gripes… hmmm… that just gave me my post title. Have a good weekend folks!
My body did something awesome for Valentine’s day yesterday morning- specifically my eyes. I got pink eye! Now when my love one’s look at me they see pink and green ooze. Awwwww, so nice. Oh yeah, Happy Valentines Day. Sorry for the long time no-post thing. I have been busy. Here are a couple highlights!
- This weekend I got Matt to go thrift shopping with me. We found this thrift store in this super gross area of town that sells all of the stuff that Target can’t sell. It. is. awesome. I love Target’s clearance, and this was a one-up on that! Ella was the only one who got something. She is way too smooth.
- After we went thrifting, we went to Menards. (hehe.) It seems that a CERTAIN DUDE that lives in my house forgot he was defrosting chicken for dinner and never told me when I took over making it last week. I found the chicken a week later. Shockingly and equally nasty, the microwave did a really great job holding the smell in. Matt was all gag,BLEEECH, and I was all “Oh, hell no.” so we bought a new microwave. Easily solved that marital fight.
- I have been debating dying my hair red for two weeks now. I’ve been a bit hesitant/lazy and haven’t yet. First of all I have a maroon coat (which I LOOOVE!) and now I have pink eyes. Plus, whenever I’m outside in this cold my face turns a beautiful shade of red. A little too many shades of red.
Well, yes. Pink eye totally blows.
In the mornings I take Ziggy on a little ten minute walk. Since currently he is kenneled from whenever Matt leaves and I get home I think it is good for him to get a little walking time. Plus it gives him a chance to pee on hundreds of surfaces that are not in my house. Usually I just throw random warm things on and go. Lately I have been throwing on Matt’s outdoor clothes because he leaves them all in a pile somewhere in the house and that makes it oh so convenient. So here I was this morning: Big tan coat, weird bright orange hunting cap (don’t ask), big man gloves and pink wide leg pajama pants tucked in my boots and a cup of coffee. Now mind you I don’t normally see people on the walk, and I turn corners when I do see someone. This morning I looked like a weird hungover transvestite Elmer Fudd hunting for ‘wabbits’. Thank god I’m already married- there is no way I would meet anyone normal with my current state of dress.
Check out this HUNK-A-HUNK OF BURNING LOVE. So cute. Obviously taken before MLK day…
I wanted to give a few fingernail biting topics an update- here we go:
- Ziggy has not peed in the house once since Sunday. WTF little man? What. the. fuck.
- Ella had an ear infection on Tuesday, she is better now. (I never brought this up, but it does give me a little chance to moan. Moan.)
- I didn’t Caucus on Tuesday. Why? Because I’m new to this whole caucus thing- I grew up in Kansas, and until this year Kansas hasn’t done them and I think its weird. Also, I got cold feet. No, I got confused feet and starting to question who I was going to vote for. And American Idol was on and that’s an AMERICAN thing to do right? Well, at any rate- Matt went and voted and I stayed home washing dishes barefoot with my children running around naked. All was right, Super Tuesday night.*
*Rhyme ALERT! Oh yeah, and Overjustification ALERT!
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