The Three Stories Bluff

Gosh, I have so much to write about and if it wasn’t for my Achilles heel of writing I’d do it- I hate logging into things. This is why I haven’t finished my online game of Scrabulous against Heather and why I haven’t emailed back my friend Rachel about hanging out one of these days. It’s the laziest of the lazy. That is why my blog has been quiet lately, I have to actually LOG IN the wordpress.com to do it.

So, which story do I want to tell… maybe I do a quick smorgasbord of stories. A smattering, if you will.

Story #1. The Day Ziggy Almost Died a Gruesome Horrible Death. Really. Literally. It Was Awful.

Yeah, that’s the stories title… what’s it to ya? Okay, so two weeks ago, I gathered up Ella and Ziggy and decided to cruise around the neighborhood looking for a good garage sale. Got Ella all strapped in and had we Ziggy on his leash. Ziggy is a little skittish in the car, so he was bouncing all over the car looking out the windows that were rolled down. Do you see where this is going? At one point we were cruising along at 20 miles per hour on a side street and I look back in the rearview window and see standing on Ella’s back with half his body out the window. I start yelling for Ella to grab him and she tries… and he jumps. Out the window. While I’m driving. Ella, doing the only thing that she can think of, grabs his leash. Ziggy is on the outside of the car and Ella is holding onto his leash for dear life. And me? I’m FUCKING FREAKING OUT!!!! I slam on the breaks and jump out of the car and find Ziggy dangling from the window with his back feet trying to run on the street. I pick his punk ass up and look over to see a lady walking down the street. Apparently she saw the whole thing and just continued to walk. Really lady? Did the scene in front of you not warrant a pause in your morning routine? She didn’t even make eye contact with or ask if the dog was dead. He wasn’t. Actually he was perfectly fine. Ella was fine too. I don’t think she realized all of the horrible outcomes that could have played out from the incident. I was not okay. It took me a whole day to get over the trauma it cause me. I can feel my blood pressure going up just thinking about it.

Story #2: Ella and Her Fascination with ‘Geowge Buwsh’

Most of the time when the TV is on these days it is on CNN so naturally Ella has heard alot of buzz words like Hilary Clinton, Obama and George Bush. Since she asks ONE MILLION QUESTIONS A DAY (because quote “My bwain keeps thinking about qwestions.”) some of them have to do with these words and Matt has been more than happy to chat it up with her on the subject. Honestly I think he’s grooming the next great president. Anyways, she is pretty obsesses with Bush. Like today on the way to school she asks, “Mom, Geowge Buwsh doesn’t know that you have to smart to be the president, right?” “Yes, honey, that is right.” or at Target the other day when we talking about how it good to be nice to people (since Ella had just totally shunned a elderly woman who told her she looked pretty), and Ella answered back, “But Geowge Buwsh isn’t nice, he won’t let people get medicine!” Yeah, she really said that. What a well-groomed Liberal I have. By the way, Ella was going Clinton, all the way. This Mama? She’s always been for Obama.

Story #3 POSSIBLY THE CUTEST THING MATT HAS EVER DONE

Good grief, my husband is adorable. Not only does the man let me complain about my butt, my mood, the house with all the patience in the world, and be a great father, he does it all while being so cute. Sigh. We met some elderly neighbors this weekend that Matt volunteered to mow their lawn. I just peeked over the fence at him the whole time swooning. Nothing is hotter than a man helping out someone who needs it. Plus, he got twelve dollars out of the deal. Matty’s got himself a little summer job.

The tough questions.

Does the fact that I am starting to have a new appreciation for Hootie and the Blowfish mean I’m entering a new age category? Or does it mean that I am entering a new era of douchebaggery? Hmmm…

Did anyone else notice that I used AWESOME five times in my last post? What is this, 1991? Maybe I’ll try to beat that by using gnarly or bodacious six times in a future post.

Sheepishly devoted to you.

Sorry… I am becoming more sheepish with each post, eh? So. life.

• Probably, if you have been *trying* to read my blog you have also been reading my sister Jenny’s too- she (and her husband) have awesomely been updating everyone on little Mara. From what I hear things are looking pretty normal for them these days which is awesome. Matt, Ella and I went down on Memorial day weekend to try to help. Two pretty awesome things occurred that weekend: 1. I GOT TO HOLD MARA. Which is so cool! I have never been able to hold any of my neices or nephew within the first week of their lives. Hotdog, is she cute! Almost made me want to make babies with Matt, but then again, there is no way I’d be a strong as Jenny and Dustin were through that whole ordeal with Mara. I’d flip out. I have decided to stick to my one healthy kid right now. Don’t worry people- we won’t procreate anytime soon…    Where was I? Oh yeah. 2. Ben gave me a name! I got to spend some time with my only little nephew and until now I think he referred to me as That Crazy Lady I Don’t See Very Much That Likes To Harass Me which was really hard for him to say. In the car on Sunday, I worked really hard and bribed him with renditions of Thomas the Train Engine songs and he started to call me CeeCee! I’m AUNT CEECEE! How cool is that!
• On my way to work yesterday, I was at a light when I noticed a lady looking at me. She then turned to her driving partner and he looked at me. And they chatted. And took turns looking at me and chatting. While I looked at them. It was weird. I am pretty sure they were talking about how awesome I am though.
• I sold my coffee table this weekend on Craigslist and bought another one off Craigslist. I made ten bucks.
• Work has actually been pretty awesome lately.
• Do other ladies do this? Maybe about 8 times a year, before my period, I get pissed. I yell at Matt, I come up with insane reasons to be pissed, I feel completely justified, and I cry. This month it was about how Matt slept in on Sunday after I totally told him on Saturday to sleep in on Sunday… how dare he! Plus, I decided I hate his job. And his haircut. And my old coffee table. Ugh, I never realize its my hormones talking either. I always feel like a big piece of crap once my period starts… does that happen to you too? Maybe a moon hut to hide in once a month isn’t such a bad idea.
• If you are ever driving through Iowa on I-35 and stop at Terrible’s Casino- don’t buy Terrible’s red wine…. it’s…. terrible.