Ella: Hey Mom. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Potato Head.
Potato Head who?
Potato Head has a poopy butt!
Hahahahahahahaha. I love that joke for two reasons……… yes, its poop and butt. Have a good weekend.
“Oh Hello!”
“What beautiful plants you have right here next the sidewalk! You know, the one’s outside of your fence!”
“Why thank you! I love them more than anything.”
“I think the little sign in front of each really highlights the beauty of them. Especially since each sign has the word URINATE written in bold. Just wonderful!”
PS: I thought of that this morning on my walk. Someday I’ll get over the signs. If you have no idea what I’m talking about look back a couple posts to one called OBSERVATIONS.
I would like to request a weekend extension if I could? Do I need the proposal to be in writing or is a verbal request okay?
This weekend was busy and pretty dorky really. Friday night was non-existent… I can’t remember it. On Saturday we went to some park (which I also can’t remember it’s name) and hiked through some bogs, went to a bird santuary and let Ella play on an old school playground. It was pretty exciting. We also watched one of the Lord of the Rings that night. It only gets gets dorkier from here.
Sunday we went to the Renaissance Festival. Matt LOVES going, and Ella too. Me? Ehhhh. No. When I was 19 I worked at one- and I have never wanted to go to one since. I was in charge of the Porkchop on a Stick booth. We also sold Toni’s Mini Pizzas and calzones. I say I was in charge because all of the kids that worked in my booth were 14 years old. I was ANCIENT. I WAS IN COLLEGE! So that made me Supervisor. Those places are gross people. Nothing that happens there is good. Evil, icky, eww. Matt does giggle everytime he thinks about me yelling “Would you like a Toni’s Mini Pizza for you and your wench?” in a weird British accent. Ugh. Gross. But I went with them, and I had a pretty okay time. We also met up with my friends Rachel and Geoff so that made it much more bearable. Ella about flipped out when we found a booth full of princess dresses, hats, fairy wings and pink sparkly accessories. Matt about flipped out when he saw a booth with Turkey legs. I about flipped out when I looked at our checking account this morning. Ugh… gross. Ick.
But like I said, I had an alright, okay kind of time. We finished the weekend watching Lord of the Rings.
Me: Hey Ella, see that dog over there? That is like grandma’s dog, Fawn. It’s called a pug. You know, like how Ziggy is called a fucker* poodle?
Ella: Oh, yeah. Is Mickey a pug?
Me: No, Mickey is a wiener dog.
Ella: A Weiner dog?
Me: Yeah, because he looks like a hotdog. He can also be called a Dachshund.
Ella: Mom, don’t call Mickey a hotdog- if he was a human that would hurt his feelings.
*Sorry, that comment was uncalled for and irrelevant to the conversation. But I still think my dog is a fucker.
On my morning walk with THE MOST ANNOYING DOG EVER* aka Ziggy we were walking along by my neighbors house when Ziggy stops to pee on a plant. I look down and right in front of the plant is a tiny sign at a dog’s eye level that says “Please don’t urinate on my plants.”
Umm, I have a couple questions… is that for dogs that can read? Is it for dogs at all? I assumed it was, but maybe they have a problem with humans urinating on the plant. Or squirrels.
Anyways, I pulled him along and told him to read the sign next time. Admittedly, I kind want to let him pee on it. I am not sure why you would plant a whole bunch of plants outside of your fence right along a sidewalk and not be okay with them getting urinated on by dogs…or squirrels, or wait a minute… maybe they do have a problem with human urination. I guess I would have a problems with people peeing on my plants too… for a couple of reasons.
Also, I just was outside my office and saw what looked like a HUGE bug in one of the roses. I took a closer look at it and realized it was two beetles getting it on. How about that for the most romantic beetle sex ever had? In the middle of a rose.
* MOST ANNOYING DOG EVER reasoning: Also on that walk he pooped out half a pair of Ella’s underwear. Today at the Ella’s doctor, I was holding her Stuffed Dino for her and realized it REEKS of dog urine. That little MO-FO.
So last Friday, I had a weird icky feeling day. I even ended up going to Urgent Care trying to figure out what was going on. I won’t go into details… which, I know, weird right? I always go into gross details. But, I’m feeling classy today. Anyways, fucking Urgent Care was complete nightmare and they didn’t figure out anything… so the final result was… I quit the Apple Cider Vinegar experiment.
I decided I am going to retry though. I don’t want to be a quitter. I feel good now… and overall, I thought the ACV experiment was positive and I totally dug it. So, I’ll keep updating things.
On a different note. Did anyone else find this weekend bittersweet? I thinkknow I can be really dramatic but it was SO BEAUTIFUL this weekend and all I could think is that its almost over. I’m not sure I am really for another Minnesota winter. I spent ALL WEEKEND outside. We had wonderful weather up here in the Nordwoods. But… umm… winter? UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Well, I’m into my third complete day of the ACV life revolution. Here are some observations.
- Haven’t experienced any appetite suppressant effect from the vinegar. Darn it.
- I think my blood sugars are more even. Well… not yesterday. I had Cheetos for lunch and brownies for dinner. It would have took an act of God to have good blood sugars. This point will need more time.
- I have had a stomach ache for about a day. It could be that my innards are being pickled. Or that I had Cheetos for lunch and brownies for dinner last night. This will also need a little time.
- My skin is looking good. I have had a couple nights of bad sleep (thanks ELLA, and your darn infected ear drum too!) and I haven’t look super puffy in the mornings.
- This morning, I almost FORGOT to make coffee. That never happens. It is usually brewed and in my belly 6 minutes after I wake up. Does this mean I’m more perky? Hmmm…
The taste has gotten a little better. I am still drinking about the tablespoons ACV in the morning with a cup of water and the same before bed. I’ll give an update on Monday.
PS: I’m a little embarrassed about spelling cider wrong in the title of my last post. *blush*
Well, even though there are nay-sayers out there like the comment in my last blog (Casey…pshhh… using my own words against me to make it sound gross… okay, it is gross) I have started drinking ACV. FYI: I am drinking Braggs Organic Apple Cidar Vinegar. I started last night and again this morning. Last night it was in a glass of water with a little honey- I added about a 1/4 cup of ACV. It wasn’t….. so bad. It was pretty bad. This morning I forgo’d the honey and just did equal parts water and vinegar. It was even worse. It’s not like you can chug either. It’s so sour that your throat closes down. But I made it through, even though there are no major life changes yet. I plan to drink it every morning and before bed until Labor Day. Let’s see if I can make it longer than my last stint with Weightwatchers. They are both about equally painful.
PostScript: Casey: it’s not like a drank it from his sores, dude. I swear.
PostPostScript: I read online about a woman who’s been drinking ACV for 10 years that is 44 and just got asked out by a 19 year old. That could be me.
PostPostPostScript: One of my co-workers DOESN’T think I’m crazy.
Hi! How are you? Nice to see you! Been a while, huh?
I have a few stories to tell. They will all connect, and I’m kind of a cracked out writer today. Sorry. It will go a little like this… Ella to Ziggy to Me Leaving Weird Messages on Answering Machines to Weird Health Food Fads.
Are you ready?
Things are going FINE here at Mattchrisella household. Ella has been home for a little over a week now and it’s been a tough transition. It always is. Especially this time, since on her way back to Kansas she was in a wreck. Not only her, but also my mom, sister, my nephew and my *new* niece. It was a crazy, shitty 10 car pile up! My family was personally hit by a semi truck. They even cut my mom out with the THE JAWS OF LIFE. Everyone is just fine… great actually. Strangely enough. Ella has a little post traumatic stress going on every time we get in the car. She isn’t visible shaken in the car, but it comes out in other ways like she gets scared when I brake fast, or sometimes when I drive fast she gets a stomachache. I get it though. Wrecks are scary.
She has also had major separation anxiety. She cries (freaks the fuck out) when I drop her off at school, cries when Matt leaves for overnight workdays, shit, she even cries when I take Ziggy on a walk.
It’s been a tough transition.
Speaking of Ziggy. On Friday night I noticed some sores around his hips. Awesome! So I trimmed up the hair around the sores and googled what it might be. I figured I might as well try to get to the bottom of it since I had to wait until Monday for the vet anyways. Well, I found out they were hot spots or summer sores. Which can be cause by heat (check), allergies (unknown, but maybe?), lots of hair (he’s two weeks past a grooming), being neurotic (check), or infection (maybe!). Ugh. So what I found out is that I could treat it with Apple Cider Vinegar. So I have been applying it all weekend and it seems to be working! Plus, I got him groomed so he is a lot less hairy now. In the process of the grooming, we also found out the culprit of his sores. They always squeeze his anal sacs and one of them was infected. Now folks, THIS IS WHY I DON’T GROOM HIM MYSELF. That is gross. So worth the 50 dollar grooming charge!
On Sunday, I was suppose to go out to eat with my cousin, her family and my aunt and uncle to celebrate my aunts birthday (Happy Birthday Aunt Sue!) but I cancelled so I could get Ziggy’s grooming all figured. I left a mildly weird message canceling with them where I talked DOGS, SORES and HAIR. Sorry Melissa, but at least I didn’t bring up infected butt glands! I leave really weird, and awkward messages. I swear I don’t try to do it, it just happens.
I think I am going to start a new hippy skippy healthy attempt. I have heard about for years, by boss in Federal Way, WA even did but I haven’t got into the wave yet. Drinking Apple Cider Vinegar a couple times a day is suppose to help you lose weight and feel better. I just bought a big bottle for Ziggy’s sores and figure it was a good time to try it out… has anyone ever tried it? Is that super weird? Will I smell like a pickle? Or a pickled apple? Comments please, and I’ll let you know if I pickle myself, or if I am able to fit into the culottes that I had on when I met Matt again. Thanks and if you made it this far- you deserve a cookie! Go get one!
Ella has been on her grandparent vacation for nearly two weeks now. She will be home TONIGHT! So what do a mom and dad do for two weeks without a kid? Eat bad, work late and sleep. I’m ready to have my kid back. First of all, Matt and me decided not to buy groceries this week to save some money and clear out some old food. I really really miss fresh fruit! I would NEVER not have fruit in the house with Ella around. The last couple of nights I have picking raisins out of trail mix while I push aside chocolate and peanuts. There is no other explanation for that than vitamin deficiency. Plus, I thought it’d be really fun to not make dinner for two weeks… I’m sick of cereal. Though I must say that Kashi Golean cereal and soy milk taste SUPER GREAT together. Try it!
I do appreciate the lesser laundry loads, extra cleaning time and not having to search my brain for accurate answers for one billion WHY questions a day. To tell you the truth, I don’t think Ziggy is missing Ella much. Don’t tell her.
I really feel that these two weeks will have made me a more patient, attentive mom, and better wife and a refreshed view of my life. I needed this more than I knew. It’s funny. I was telling Matt how much easier it is to work on our marriage when there is not a kid around. We talk more, we bond more, and uh, we hug more. You want to know what though? Because we have a kid- it makes us work this hard at it. Welcome home, Ella. Can’t wait to see you.
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